Taken from Morgan Gallo of Morgan Gallo Events located in Savannah, Georgia. She provides such great advice, but this particular blog post was brilliant!
Okay, so you’ve set a date for your wedding. A location has been picked. The time is set in stone. Now it’s time to ask those close to you to share in that special day, but who do you ask? I would like to share some questions to keep in mind when it comes time to ask that age old question, “Will you be a bridesmaid?”
The first thing you should ask yourself: “Have they been supportive or active in my life?” Not within the last year or so, but I am talking many, many years. If you haven’t know them for very long, then maybe they are not the best ones to ask. Remember, these are the people who you will be reminiscing with at your 20 year anniversary. My rule of thumb–If they haven’t been to your house for dinner within the last 6 months, you might want to revisit your close circle of friends.
The next question to ask yourself: “Is this person responsible, reliable and trustworthy?” If you answered no to any of those, then chances are they will be a no-show at the rehearsal, or be intoxicated at the wedding… Those people are likely to bring unnecessary drama to the party, and that is not needed.
A third question that is sometimes overlooked: “Can this person financially afford to be in the wedding?” Between the bridesmaid dress, the shoes, the hair and makeup, bridal shower after bridal shower, the Bachelorette Party, a wedding gift, and a hotel room, there are quite a few expenses involved with being a bridesmaid. If your person in question cannot afford to pay for one or all of these, then that could be an extra burden on you.
The fourth question that brides always ask me: “How many is too many?” Too few and it looks like you have no close friends. Too many, and you need a parade permit to process down the aisle. Find a number that you are comfortable with, but don’t ask someone just because you are afraid that you could hurt their feelings. Maybe they could be a greeter and hand out programs, help cut the cake, or ensure your guests sign the guestbook. Also, if your wedding is small and intimate, with 50 or so guests, your don’t want 15 of those guests to be standing with you at the altar!
Finally, the bride should ask herself: “How much can I afford?” The people who you are asking to stand with you and support you on your wedding day deserve a gift of gratitude. That is not the time to be cheap or ignore a gift. Be thoughtful in your gift. And remember, they have spent lots of time and money to help make your day memorable. Return the favor.
If you still have questions/doubts about who you should ask, or how many is too many…ask your best girlfriend. She is more likely to tell you the honest-to-God truth. Trust what she says. You will thank her for being the voice of reason!